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[20 Nov 2004|01:28am] |
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mood |
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 cooool |
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im deffinately getting an electric guitar for christmas, so, thats kick ass. I also might get some stuff for my drums too. Its hard playing two instruments :( Today I got the day off to psend with my mom at the mall. I saw sara and sue there, and sara said the weirdest thing.... anyways. im dying my hair red. i just got my hair cut, but only a trim, i dont like it short. this whole band buisness is doin alright. though it seems like its a two man band right now cause quite frankly me and zach kind of suck, but were gettin there ! But I can somewhat play these songs.... Senses Fail- Buried a Lie, One Eight Seven. Creed- Higher (lol, dont ask). Helmet- Unsung. Sum 41-Pieces. Lots of random theme songs. and my created song ! Woot woto !
anyways, im done here, goodnight !
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[14 Nov 2004|01:12am] |
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mood |
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 rockin |
] |
what in the eff was i thinkin, none of that shit was even worth it. sorry to all.
i had an oddly strange interesting dream last night. it was kind of scary though. i was all alone and i was just walking around and id see people but when i went to say hello or anything they'd disapear and for some reason there was a moose ??? lol, unfortunetly the moose didnt disapear... what does that resemble ? a big headache maybe, cause i got one :S lol.
matt left early to hang out with heather... those kids must really be in love.... still not sick of seeing eachother 24/7, lol. me and nick didnt do anything to interesting. i went home for a bit, had a shower, rearranged my room completely and went back to nicks.
You had your reason
Now i have mine
Maybe you regret
But I'm doing fine
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[12 Nov 2004|06:31pm] |
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mood |
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 discontent |
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ScratchingPost- Gracie (minus the chorus)
Thought I was special to you
Thought I meant something to you
I was delusional
Mistaken as usual
You past up on something good
But somehow I knew you would
Right there infront of you
Was someone too good for you
You can't make me feel this way
The same low again today
You've proven yourself this time
That your not a friend of mine
And when your alone tonight
I'll know I'd done something right
For all that you've done to me
Your welcome for everything
lonely.
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[12 Nov 2004|12:13am] |
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mood |
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 angry as fuck |
] |
ºthe one question forever repeating in my head, non-stop, why...
ºno more of this, its not worth it, kill me please.
ºdont be sorry i hate everything, sorry is number one.
ºi give up, fuck, ahh, ....
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[11 Nov 2004|07:57pm] |
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mood |
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 numb |
] |
I'll dig a hole
Make it six feet deep
I'll wait for you to take
What you dont wish to keep
When its all over
I'll be prepared
You'll stand over me
Like you didnt even care
I will throw it away
So no one can find
I'll break it away
No longer confined
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[10 Nov 2004|08:03pm] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
] |
crap.
frustration vent~
mkjlag;kjr g ARGH FUCK w;he KJFWEF FWEl';KDSADMFW FUCK FUCKDKOEWh[f 4fpojjopjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjijio fmrkldsshiso insdshitfuckfuckddffspk f;dsk kmndsf oiwe iosjeamnf FONnfNFonfonnvOIWERMS/shiths mjaif ajkf DJijkdsjkdsjknLN'LEn09rfmn \=0-3423nnkmfrw04jm fucccccccccccck.
the end.
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[09 Nov 2004|12:41am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
Well, it sucked that I missed it the first time around but I got it on number two ! w00t w00t ! As of today I feel like a rocking sock, because hey, those socks are such rockers ! This just erases all the bull dung and makes a drawer full of socks. Yes this rocks :) I couldn't be happier right now, as that old guy said in that movie.... yeah, whatever it was he said ! Oh yeah guys, you better be rolling with the Green Lama Renegade Crew or you'll be eaten alive by an angry mob, oh yes, I have the ability. If you don't think this is the best crew ever, I will fight you. That is no lie. For those of you unaware of the Green Lama Renegade it is a movement started by three people, me being one of them, who which we all devote our spare time to starring at a green lama who happens to look like a penis. Well, I think I'll study some more for math so po0f !
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[05 Nov 2004|08:56pm] |
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mood |
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 calm |
] |
okay well, I've heard the oddest things ever... and I'm not saying anything until I find out for myself. All I can say is dammmmit !
pieces is the best song ever, disagree and you'll die young and unhappy :)
well.... ive decided its giving up time, and giving up is done with, im on to someone else... i think, lol. i think i can do it this time though ! go me !
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| what you choose to ignore |
[03 Nov 2004|03:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 content |
] |
they pushed him towards perfection
but they pushed too hard
he lost sight of himself
they had played his last card
he fealt confined to their desire
controling him without release
he sat in the shadows and let it be
today it stops, its himself he wishes to please
hes unplugged himself from them
ran away from their control
he wants to live through his eyes
and crawl out of this hollow hole
he made his choice with no regrets
tried to be everything the wanted
under pressure to be this thing
ran away because he wasnt
you pass by and walk away
no one in this world seems to care
it gets to a point, where not even he knows
if its better here or there
hes unplugged himself from them
ran away from their control
he wants to live through his eyes
and crawl out of this hollow hole
he prays for safety, any night could be his last
but a little heart can go a long way, cant it ?
try not to judge his life
instead reflect upon all you take for grantit
hey guys just give me some input, tell me what you think this song is suppose to be about, give it to me !
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| raped from juleas lj |
[29 Oct 2004|06:52pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crushed |
] |
I AM : canadian
I WILL ALWAYS : be an idiot
I MISS : 8th grade, it rocked
I HEAR : evanescence
I SMELL : nick's dog's ass
I CRAVE : food
I WORRY : about things
I REGRET : being an idiot
I L0VE : myself
I ALWAYS : think realisticly
I DANCE : too much
I SING : oh canada in the morning
I L0ST : all confidence
I LIKE : sadly jill
I LISTEN : to everyone
I CAN BE F0UND : wherever i currently am
I NEED : her to like me dammit !!!
I H0PE : she would
I KN0W THAT : she wont
I WANT : it to happen
I AM ALWAYS : being an idiot
I WISH : she would like me
I CRY : at nick
I FELL : no
I WILL : give up sooner or later
I WONT : ever give up on her
I THINK : i should
I SHOULD : stop
I COULD : but i wont
I DIDNT : make an attempt
I LOOK : like an idiot
I HEAR : static-x
I HURT : myself by mistake
I HATE : knowing it wont ever happen
I FEAR : failure
I DONT : know much
I FEEL : like an idiot
I CARE : too much
I AM ALWAYS TRYING TO : get noticed by her
I HIDE : very little
I WRITE : alot of things
I PLAY : sadly nothing
I LEARN : very little
I WILL BE : alone for awhile
I SAY : stupid things whenever im near her
I DONT THINK : i have a chance
I LOVE TO : think i do
I ALWAYS : try
I HAVE : socks
I BELIEVE : it wont happen, ever
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[24 Oct 2004|09:25pm] |
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mood |
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 optimistic |
] |
Well, we (Matt, Heather, Zach, Me) saw Nick yesterday. And today we excluding Heather and including Kat and Tess saw him. Yesterday he was on his morphene and he was sooo out of it. But we could tell he was happy to see us. I'll never forget the look on his face. A mixture of fear, pain and happiness, all into one emotion. They took him off his drugs today and he was great. We went in one at a time and saw him. At one point he said he was in a little pain and he cringed a little bit, it looked like he was fighting back some tears. But after that he joked around and gave me his infamous "Zoolander" look. It's a shame it happened to him, but hes strong and is pretty optimistic. He shows off his battle scars and never fails to make us smile. Hes been through so much, hes truely an inspiration. Nick, you rock man.
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[18 Oct 2004|10:32pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
] |
You know somethings wrong with you when you know all the words to random creed songs. i cant sing well, but either can this guy. well my situation with jill. she knows i like her. some fucking asshole told her so she asked me and i couldnt lie to her. there is this rumour floating about that I attempted/am attempting to break up matt and heather. Now, doest his really make any sense. Considering I like jill ? Crap I liked heather a year ago, i dont even know why i did back then. so this just blew me away. I just wish whoever started the rumour would speak up so I can just tell em how rude that is. common, seriously people. Go get yourself a fucking life. Just because you can't lie about your own life dosnt mean you have to lie about mine.
i thought i had something goin with jill there but then our conversation went dead for 2 hours. she is so mysterious !
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| Mhmm A quiz. |
[16 Oct 2004|05:57pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
] |
Post this in your LJ with your answers of course !
Name- Ryan.
Age- 15.
Birthplace- Halifax, N.S.
Likes- "Using" women and telling them what they need to know. *Hops back on his high horse*
Dislikes- People who dislike me for the dumbest reasons.
Foundest Memory- When I was 4 and we were leaving for Ontario and my dad said something to me.
Music Taste- Anything with people who can play their instruments and have something worth singing about.
My biggest flaw- I'm too honest.
My biggest pro- I'm myself.
First thing I notice about the opposite sex- Smile, if it's not there either are you.
Biggest Turn off- Someone who dosn't smile.
Phobias- Sharp knives, pitch black, smelling bad, spiders.
Favorite Subject in School- History, English, Science.
Thoughts on religion- I believe in many things, but a god isn't one of them.
Do you wish on 11:11- Yes
If yes, what do you wish on- I used to wish for friends to be happy and for me not to be jealous of them. Now it's a chance with Jill.
Have friends seen you cry- From laughter many times, emotionaly only a couple. (I am a Sally)
Have gotten in physical fights with friends- Yepp, it's funny looking back on it.
Think this quiz is good- Yes, I made it, of course I do.
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[14 Oct 2004|06:45pm] |
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mood |
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optimistic |
] |
In drama today I was victim of a hate crime. I tried to be a smartass and tap when the tapping was on the other side of the circle and everyone yelled at me and said my hand was out. Then I complained about it and ended up missing my turn and screwing myself over and losing the second hand. So I lost that game, lol. I have to do the warm-up game tomorrow, no idea what the hell I'll do :)
Were into polynomials in math, thank god ! It's the only thing that actualy makes sense to me. I failed the second test as well. I'm one of five people failing in my class. The test was so stupid. They just gave us a question with about 5 words and said to solve it, not saying how we were to, just to solve. And we learned about 6 different equations so i ended doing the midpoint equation on the equation of circles question. But that was my fault, lol.
Matt wanted to skip today, so I thought he meant to just go home. So I was like alright thats cool. But aparently he failed to mention or I failed to hear him say that eh was only skipping third period. So 5 minutes after the bell I discover this so I was all "AHH SHIT I'M LATE". So I went to class anyways.
Lunch, quite a boring one. I read the paper, and everyone except me ignored Nick when he was talking. Nick is moving a couple blocks down from me so we will be hanging out alot more. Which is good, finaly ! I can actualy go to someones house from mine and not have to walk a marathon.
I wrote Jill an e-mail almost a week ago just sayinig sorry for not talking to her about hanging out and that I really wanted to. I got an e-mail back today, best e-mail ever. She wants to hang out too, AND, I got a number ! Oh man, I'm a tank ! I was all depressed earlier because I was "Ohh crap, shes ignoring me". Yayayaya !
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| Untrue Intentions / Oct. 11/04 |
[11 Oct 2004|05:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 artistic |
] |
Do you ever ask yourself why
Do you ever feel so fake
To the point of letting go
Do you realise your mistake
I sit and watch all those weak
ask for what I fear most
do you really mean it
do you hold it close
I walked to the edge and you said you'd follow
I turned back to see you distant
Say hello on my way back
The courage was non-existant
I sit and watch all those weak
ask for what I fear most
do you really mean it
do you hold it close
i fear the dark, you hold onto it
i uphold myself, you wish to let go
is this game you pretend to wish on losing
bring upon you pity, is it amusing
if you tell yourself enough
it might come true
i made my choice
what about you
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| Sorry. |
[07 Oct 2004|04:13pm] |
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Everyone has a point where they decide it's a good time to swat at that fly. Some people take more shit off that fly than others. People like me, they take shit all the time, barely give it out, and smile and care. But were only human. Theres a time when these people also have to dish shit out too. Usualy you wont like to hear it. But listen to it, maybe it will do you some good. Sure its my choice to listen to people, read what they write. And its my choice to say when it's my turn. I dont think of myself as being higher than anyone. Sure I have some talent that others dont, but I dont rub it in their face. I treat everyone equaly, but to a point. If you treat me like shit then eventualy I'll do the same to you. If you don't like it, then I'm an ass for being human. If you dont like what I have to say then tell me so. I'll make a little notice saying "Hey you might get annoyed or pissed off with this". I'm a reasonable person, sorry for being an ass. But I think it's the least I could do.
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[07 Oct 2004|03:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 determined |
] |
today we had lots of fun at lunch.
margarine lids make good frisbees.
never look like an idiot, you never know whos walking by...
went to band practise after school.
i tanked winter wonderland, and somewhere over the rainbow.
and another song, but i forgot what its called.
got home, searched for sticks and found $18.
noticed it wasn't mine and called matt.
curious to know how tomorrow will turn out.
i hung out with some people including jill this morning.
i really didnt say anything to her, i dont know what is goin on.
hopefuly i can hang out with her, but if not its cool.
senses fail fucking rocks, i envy tess.
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| Burning a cd cause I can. |
[05 Oct 2004|05:36pm] |
1Avenged Sevenfold- Warmness On The Soul
2Crossfade- The Unkown
3Linkin Park- WTH> YOU
4Good Charlotte- Hold On
5Staind- How About You
6The Used- On My Own
7Avenged Sevenfold- Streets
8Smile Empty Soul- Finding Myself
9Breaking Benjamin- Sooner Or Later
10Linkin Park- Breaking The Habbit
11Staind- Outside
12System Of A Down- Toxicity
13David Wilcox- River Boat Fantasy
14Pink Floyd- Confortably Numb
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[05 Oct 2004|04:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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hopeful |
] |
k well woke up at 7.10 and matt was in a panic with these flowers. he bought heather flowers for their three months, AWWW. he stayed the night cause it was easier to get them to her. the look on her face... priceless. biggest smile ever hehe. and from heathers place her dad gave us a ride.
inthe morning i decided id go hang out with the guitar junkies. we sat around and sang songs. the cheerios song will go plantinum, you wait. if you goto huron and dont know the cheerios song, you are uncool. in drama i had lots of fun. my leadership skills were showing today ! I got stuck in a group of the kids who want to be cool... and i made them look like idiots. kevin, a 7 foot, 220 pound gangster, was on his knees barking. now tell me im not good, lol.
I fell asleep somewhat in math. he was teaching a lesson and i was just kind of out of it. then ivan took out his guitar when he left and phil played us some dave matthews. after math i caught jill in the halls, said hello. woo hoo.
history.... most boring thing ever. we were talking about trenches and i knew everything. we were talking about shell shock and how people were going crazy. and we watched a movie and this dumbass jumps over the sandbags and charges at the enemy, with no gun, just some fools hope he'll get across. but what then ? lol. mr.telfer pointed out, " hey look its ryan ". then there was this massive tank guy that couldve taken out arnie and then hes like oh nevermind there he is !
lunch. umm kind of boring. hung out with bailey and the french kid... shes creepy lol. then the gang arrived and we all ate pizza happily. after that i decided id go wonder in hopes of finding one of my 4 posses but failed. so me matt and heather sat out in the front until lunch was done. just as i was going to to my locker i was looking in the class and shouting at shields and what do you know... jill is in that class too LOL. so yeah... fabulous lunch.
civics... discussed some shit in the papers. and how manly the toronto sun is. then we watched some of bowling for columbine. i went right home after school. grabbed my jacket said bye to nick and was off.
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[03 Oct 2004|09:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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enthralled |
] |
:o i might just have a slight chance afterall. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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